Intuition VS Fear & Why I Fled the State

In this week’s episode, I’m sharing on a more personal note. I chat about my recent spontaneous decision to pack up all my belongings into my car and move interstate to avoid yet another round of lockdowns before the borders closed and how to tell the difference between intuition and fear.

This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you’d like me to answer on the show, or topics you’d like me to cover – reach out to me on email here or over on instagram @eleanorhadley

Links & Resources

BYRON BAY RETREAT

October 30th – November 3rd (Cup Weekend)

I’m now officially taking bookings for my upcoming retreat in the magical Byron Bay hinterland. Join me for an exclusive, intimate long weekend where we’ll deep dive in to all things femininity, sensuality, sexuality, cycles, relationships and more. This is an opportunity to have a very well deserved break in a beautiful, relaxing location, with a group of likeminded sisters.

Here’s a taste of what I have planned for us:

• 5 days, 4 nights in a luxury Byron Bay villa

• Fresh, locally sourced, organic meals prepared by our personal chef

• Morning guided meditation sessions

• Daily Sensual Yoga™️ classes

• Workshops on femininity, sexuality & more

• Full Moon Release Ritual

• Plenty of time & space to relax in nature and unwind

… and so much more!

Email me for Byron Bay retreat details!

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Sensuality Academy Podcast!

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Episode Transcript

Hello and welcome to Episode 17  of The Sensuality Academy Podcast.I am coming to you from my car. Today’s episode will be more casual and personal in style usually I am all about giving you tangible techniques but today I am going to share an update as to why I am recording from my car. 

So, as you know, Covert has impacted everyone in the world in lots and lots of different ways. Here in Australia we are doing pretty well but the state that I am from Victoria. Which is where Melbourne is, for those who are unfamiliar with Australia. 

Lately, we have had some spikes in some cases so they have shut down the state. 

When all of these have started happening our state went into lockdown and we were about 4 months since all this started. We went into a hard lockdown where we could only go out for exercise, for essential supplies, if we were essential workers, or if we needed to go to the Hospital. 

We went through that and restrictions started easing and lifting. I think we all started to lift our foot off the pedal too quickly then now we have had a huge spike. 

Basically, today is Wednesday, and on Monday morning, there was a rumour the border between Victoria & NSW was about to close. For my non-Aussies, Victoria is the state on the bottom right-hand corner of the country and NSW the one above it. NSW is where Sydney is. 

So, for these two states, the border had been opened the entire time and the other states in the country had closed their borders. When I heard this, I was concerned because I had a flight booked to Byron Bay which is in NSW at the end of the month, for 10 days. I watched the announcement from our Premier that went out at approx 10.45am Monday. 

I went onto the Airline website to cancel my flight. Within 24hours the borders were shut and by Midnight on Tuesday for the rest of Victoria. 

I was chatting  to my mum that I couldn’t leave Victoria. Although I was disappointed, I understood about Health & Safety. My mum offered a solution that I would have enough time to cross the border. This was midday on Monday. I contemplated whether it was a good idea because I had already been considering moving up to Byron in a few months, I was going to scope it out and see where I would live and put some feelers out there but things changed drastically and by 4pm Monday I decided to leave. I started frantically packing, calling friends for emotional support and back myself up. All my friends were very supportive. The decision was made intuitively. I spent all night packing my bag, went to bed, hardly slept, got up at 4.45am and set off at 6am and by Midday I was across the border, I had to drive about 5 hours from where I lived up North to cross the border and I was very concerned as they said within 24hours the borders would be shut to Melbourne residents. I lived an hour south of Melbourne, so I didn’t technically think I was a Melbourne resident but I was concerned they would get me to turn around which would be awful but I was willing to take that risk. 

I had in my mind, when you are thinking they are shutting the borders, I was imagining there would be big border controls like if you were crossing into another country. Full on Police busses asking why you are leaving the state, I had it built up in my mind that it was going to be so difficult. I was rehearsing my story, I was moving there in a few months and I heard the news about the borders closing. I had done the Covid test and it was negative which I had done when I visited a friend who was pregnant. I made sure I had all these evidence. I was going through the story to justify why I deserve to go across the border. 

When I get to the border, it’s just a road, you keep driving then suddenly you are in a different state. I only saw one news reporter checking his phone. I didn’t get stopped by the Police, I didn’t get searched, and I made it into the state. 

So, right now I am coming to you from a random country town in NSW in between Melbourne and Sydney and parked at a Cricket Ground with a big old Gum Tree full of Cockatoos next me, so the most Aussie you could possibly get. Making my way up towards Byron Bay today. 

I wanted to give you an update because as soon as I put up an Instagram story that I had fled the state, I felt like a fugitive, I had so many of you asking questions and comments on what was going on. Confused but excited and even jealous. 

Melbourne has gone into complete lock down so I am very glad of my decision. Sorry to all those in Melbourne that you are in lock down, I feel for you. Hopefully, in NSW we won’t have to go into lock down. 

This is my update on what I am doing and why.  I have been considering moving to Byron for some time and if I can’t leave the country then I figured I might as well leave the state and to some where that feels a bit more like me. For those of you who know me very well, you will know that I have a very termochlous relationship with Melbourne. It is where I am from, where I was born, where I lived most of my life but I don’t just vibe with it. It is really beautiful, go visit, I highly recommend it, it’s a good place. But, for me, it doesn’t really feel like home. Which is strange because it is the place I spent most of my life but something about the energy there is quite heavy to me. 

When all this happened, I was very grateful and we all realised the world was going on pause. I was very glad I was in Australia. In a matter of weeks, before we shut down back in March, I was actually in Brazil, dancing in Carnivale. I am so glad that I am not stuck there because they aren’t doing so well and I have access to Health care and support around me. I am not in a bad position at all but when such a situation happens, it brings up a lot of things because you could be isolating by yourself or with family. Suddenly you are isolating by yourself and everything you haven’t dealt with comes up. 

Although I have never struggled with Mental Health in my life and I took a dip, which I am sure many of you can relate to. I was very hesitant to talk about because it’s not a fun topic to talk about but it’s true and it’s real. 

For me, Melbourne feels extra heavy and feels really dense to me. So, everything seemed to be exacerbated there. I am very sensitive to my environment, I love things to be beautiful, I love my alone time. So, I was ok with that – I’m not an extravert, so, it was easier for me but none of this has been easy for anybody especially if you have lost jobs or had lots of uncertainty. 

I am very lucky that I can still work online, it comes with it’s own set of struggles, like with everything. I intentionally created this business so I can work online and I did this a couple of years ago after having a business that was physical and I had to go and show up to every single day and it was a beautiful business but my travellers soul was heartbroken because I couldn’t roam around the world as much as I would have liked. So, when I created this business to be predominately online, I love in-person stuff so much but it’s nice to have a balance of both and be able to reach people that are not exactly where I am and so I designed it so I can be a nomad and travel the globe. So, it served me really well and on the flip side it has served me while being in lock down. I don’t have a physical place to go but I decided I needed to shift my energy, I was getting really low and frustrated, I was feeling not myself and struggling mentally, energy, mood. 

So, when the opportunity came up to bail and make the split second decision to get in my car and drive it was terrifying but it felt right because I need to be somewhere that feels right, that feels good and lights me up instead of drags me down. 

Thankfully, I was able to make that decision and get out. I have no idea how long I am going to be up in Byron or where I am going to live, right now I am in a random country town en route to Sydney and I don’t know where I am going to end up. 

So, we will see and I will keep you posted. As you know, I have my retreat happening in Byron Bay over Melbourne Cup day weekend. For my NSW people and the rest of my Aussies, I would love to have you join me up in Byron Bay, it’s beautiful, it’s going to be amazing and really nourishing especially after such a long time of us being isolated and may be not being in community and again the energy in Byron is spectacular. There is something special about it. I hope you come and join me for that. 

Otherwise, that’s an update. A really different vibe for the Podcast but I had so many reaching out asking what was going on. 

I want to encourage you, if you have these sudden hits of opportunity to tune in, to listen to your intuition, to do the thing that feels scary. Because, it was strange to me that somehow this decision felt a lot scarier to me than my decision to sell my business a couple of years ago and my decision to get one carry-on bag and get a one way ticket to Europe and not know when I was coming back to Australia again like I did last year. Maybe I am minimising it, we can minimise some things in the past like we don’t remember fully. Looking back, I remember all my travels and how amazing it was and not necessarily how nervous I was before I left but for some reason, this decision that I made two days ago felt really, really scary and heavy and also exciting. I was trying to think – what is the difference between my intuition and my gut telling me this is a bad idea. If I am going just based off how I felt, quite physically, it would have been a NO, don’t do it because my body was in a fight or flight mode, do I stay or do I go? If I paid attention only to that – don’t do that Eleanor, my body is only telling me NO. 

Intuition is an interesting thing, there is softer, calmer, more still voice or feeling and it’s more internal. I feel like Intuition is not something you feel quite viscerally, it’s like a puppy who is super excited and playful and just wants to move around and wants to do stuff and you can’t get it to sit still. That is like that fear, that external physical feeling response whereas the intuition is more like an old cat who is just chill, who just sleeps in the sun and might raise it’s head and nod at you and go back to sleep. That’s the kind of difference, I hope this analogy makes sense but it feels like the intuition is the calm, scented knowing and that’s what I had, I had both feelings. I had this intuition that said ‘yes, this is the right thing to do’ and I had that external feeling, that visceral feeling of ‘OMG, OMG, OMG’ Anxiety. I was honestly, really debating up to the minute I left if I should leave but if it was the wrong decision, I wouldn’t have done it and to be honest I don’t think there are wrong decisions. I think everything that you do, there is a reason for it and there’s a reason why it happens and a reason why you created it and you can’t make a wrong decision. You are either going to learn from it, grow from it or be amazing and bring you great opportunities. I love for you to consider where in your life you can listen to your intuition rather than that fear. Sometimes, I think we mistake fear for intuition where we think we feel really scared that it’s not the right thing to do. Sometimes, when we are really scared that means this is the right thing to be doing. Fear is the same feeling as excitement. How do you want to interpret it? 

That is all from me today, I hope that this answered your questions about what I am doing and why I fled my state like a fugitive and maybe inspired you a little bit to rethink Intuition and Fear or Fear and excitement. 

Anyway, let me know what you think of this episode and whether this resonated with you at all, feel free to DM me anytime and I will be back next week, next episode with more super tangible techniques on how you can embody your femininity and enhance your sex life and elevate your relationships. 

Thank you very much for listening and I’ll join you next time from somewhere else in NSW, I can’t tell you where yet, as I have no idea. 

Anyway, until then…stay sensual.