A Guide to Cervical Orgasms with Olivia Bryant
We love talking all about orgasms on this show, and this episode dives deep into the almighty, yet elusive, cervical orgasm. This mysterious orgasm can only be described as transcendental. But, how do you achieve it?
In this episode, I am joined by Olivia Bryant, founder of Self Cervix. A global movement educating about the orgasmic potential of the cervix.
In this episode we explore:
What cervical de-armouring is
How to resensitize the cervix
The link between your orgasms & your emotions
The importance of boundary setting in self-pleasure
How to access more orgasmic states
If you are wanting to really unlock your orgasmic potential, settle in and enjoy.
This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you’d like me to answer on the show, or topics you’d like me to cover – reach out to me on email here or over on instagram @eleanorhadley
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Episode Transcript
Hello and welcome to The Sensuality Academy Podcast. In my work I teach alot about sexuality and one of the major themes is for you to enhance your sex life.
Naturally, the topic of orgasms comes up frequently in my work and it’s always so much fun sharing with the students’ who aren’t aware that there are multiple different types of orgasms that us vulva owners are capable of achieving. None more elusive than the almighty cervical orgasm. I decided to bring in an expert onto the show to explore what a cervical orgasm actually is, how to achieve one and how it’s vastly different from the all faithful clitoral orgasm.
Our guest today, Olivia Bryant is the founder of Self Cervix. A global movement educating about the orgasmic potential of the cervix.
In today’s episode Olivia and I have a really wonderful chat about the transcendental nature of cervical orgasm and how this type of orgasm is often overlooked even by medical professionals. We also explore the process of de-armouring and resensitizing the area from potential numbness and why orgasms can be often linked to big emotional releases. I had such a fun time talking to Olivia & I know that you are going to get a lot out of this episode. If you are wanting to really unlock your orgasmic potential, settle in and enjoy.
Before we jump into this episode I want to invite you, if you want to learn more about how to become more orgasmic person and dive into all things pleasure and orgasm consider getting a group of friends together - either in person, if you’re based in Southern Queensland or Northern Rivers region or online by zoom for my signature pleasure party private workshops. I have had students host pleasure parties for birthday celebrations, girls’ nights, bachelorette parties, and more. It's really a fun way to learn more about pleasure, orgasms, sexuality, and to ask all those burning questions in a really safe space among friends and of course with me. To book your own pleasure party now, head to eleanorhadley.com/pleasureparty.
All right my loves, let’s learn all about the cervix. Enjoy!
ELEANOR: Hello Olivia, and thank you so much for coming on to The Sensuality Academy podcast, it’s such a pleasure having you here.
OLIVIA: Thanks Eleanor, I am so excited to talk about the Cervix.
ELEANOR: Yes! Let’s dive straight in. For my listeners who are unsure what a cervix is, how do you describe it?
OLIVIA: Great question. When I started this work I really took for granted that actually there is such limited knowledge about the Cervix. You really start to understand what the cervix is only when you start having a baby. The Cervix is sitting at the base of your uterus, it forms the neck of your uterus. You can imagine your big bellowing uterus and funnels down into a smaller section that protrudes into the vaginal passage. It feels like a doughnut inside your vagina. So, if you go fishing up inside your vagina and you work your way around you might find a lumpy tissue and it's amazing to me how many people think that they have some kind of growth inside their vagina but it's not a growth, it's your cervix. It feels like the tip of your nose. If you feel this harder tissue, it’s through the cervix that we obviously bleed. The cervix produces a whole bunch of cervical mucus to keep the vagina clean and protect the uterus from having any bacteria going up inside of it. It is a very beautiful, important organ. When we think about the cervix, we think about going to the gynaecologist and having a pap smear, maybe we have had an HPV or cervical displeasure - that’s abnormal cells on the cervix, a lot of people have had the LETS procedure. It’s very medicalised. You might have had an IUD put in there, abortions or miscarriages or difficulties during birth. So many things impact the cervix. It is very medicalised but what a lot of people don’t know is that it is within your genetial anatomy that has the most neuroconnections to your brain than any other part of your sexual anatomy, so it’s very sensitive. This means, not only can it feel pain, but it can also feel a lot of pleasure. The reason why I am doing this work is that I’m trying to move the conversation primarily medically about medicalisation and reproduction also to say that the cervix can be included in your sexual play and you can have the most profound orgasmic experiences through the cervix literally mind blowing. It’s interesting to me that it’s part of our sexual anatomy and it’s pretty much ignored and medicalised when it’s such a potent, powerful place within us. My work is teaching women to find their cervix and to awaken pleasure at the same time. I think the other thing that is really important is when you look at a medical textbook you’ll see your vagina like a tube going upwards and you’ll see the cervix sitting right at the top but the uterus is like a floating organ, it’s held by ligaments so it moves. If your uterus, most people don’t have a uterus that is at the top of the vagina, it is often off to the side or to the back or to the front. When I first started, I was feeling up at the top, I was thinking I was at my cervix, it must be somewhere around here, not really feeling much, just a bunch of tissue assuming that the cervix is there. It wasn’t until one day I was exploring around the neighbourhood when I landed on this lump way over to the left side. SO you never know where you are going to find it.
ELEANOR: So interesting. Such a wonderful overview of what the cervix is. Thank you very much. I think a lot of people would not have known what the cervix is. They might have just heard about the word but never really associated it with anything to do with sexuality. I think a lot of people have all these different parts in our body and unless you are in medicine you don’t really know all the in’s and out’s. I think that it’s quite normal, I couldn’t tell you all the different ligaments going on in my arm but of course as a sex educator, I can tell you a lot about our genitalia and I think that it is so fascinating. It is really empowering to actually know where things are and why we have these parts and what they do. Especially with the cervix it is something, like as you said, people talk about it when discussing pregnancy and not many other times, maybe a pap smear but why do you think it is so important to understand where everything is and what it does in terms of sexuality?
OLIVIA: People want to feel. One of the major things that people come to me, I want to be more orgasmic or I want to have an orgasm, I want to have better sex or I don’t want to have any pain with sex or whatever is. What we are conditioned to do is put the responsibility out to other people or the knowledge onto other people, or the authority whether it’s your doctor or your lover to create an experience for you and really what empowerment is, is knowing that knowledge is power. Full knowledge about how your sexual anatomy works, it’s going to completely shift - not only how you are going to experience pleasure, you are going to make pleasure your own but you are also going to share your pleasure with your lovers and teach your lovers how to pleasure you. It’s really an old fashioned way of being. This fantasy where we can lay back and the person of your dreams is going to come along and know exactly the right way to touch us and give us mind blowing orgasms. We have to remember that orgasms and pleasure are ours entirely. Anyone that we bring into our body, and connect with the body they are truly being an assistant into our journey, our pleasure. They can’t do anything, they can’t be the most amazing assist to our pleasure if we don’t know what is going on. The more we know, the more we can open up to experiencing more and more. When I started this, I was very limited in my orgasmic range. I really struggled, it caused a lot of shame for me being a sexologist helping around shame, because that was my major of stuckness within myself. Orgasm was really a challenge for me. clitoral orgasm, I was a late bloomer in my 20’s and I had a huge vibrator that I would need in order to create an orgasmic experience. I was relying on a huge amount of stimulation and sensation from an external object like a machine to do something to me and yet when it came for me to do it for myself I felt really numb and it was a 45-minute mission. I was in this mindset, I was focused on this goal. One day, I had a terrible breakup experience my pelvic muscles were really tight and sore, I was in Bali and I thought what better place to take advantage of having some type of sexual body work experience as part of my work and he put his finger on my cervix and I asked if I could feel this, and I couldn’t feel a thing. My cervix was absolutely numb, kind of like my clitoris was numb and I knew from my research as a sexologist that the cervix is this Tantra orgasm, the portal of this absolutely mind blowing spiritual experience to orgasm. I was like wow, I can’t feel this, no wonder my ability to be able to relax into pleasure feels very limited and very stuck and detached and doesn't have any relationship with my cervix, not much relationship with my internal vagina actually. Sure I enjoyed sex but did I really know what it was like inside of me? All the sensations and the ligaments and what was going on in there. So, I asked the healer what I should do and the healer said to go away and stimulate your cervix every day and I went away and started stimulating my cervix and honestly it was so boring. It didn’t feel a thing, I literally just dropped off and didn’t practice because I didn’t feel anything. When I realised that I hadn’t been practicing I started a Facebook event asking if anyone would be interested in this mission for Cervical stimulation for 21 days and I thought it would be a few of my friends in Melbourne who would want to jump in, about 12 of us actually it was 1200 people from all over the world, all staring in my direction saying what do we do, how do we awaken the cervix. I didn’t have any idea. From this complete play of innocence I began to explore my internal world which included not only my cervix but my g spot area, my vagina in general and everyone did too. It was a profound experience for the first time women were, everyone with cervix, they were touching into a place that possibly only their doctor only touched before and starting to claim this side of their body and realise they have a cervix and at this moment my cervix is numb and wondering why that is the case or painful like I am at the gynaecologist how could ever this be pleasurable? Some people were really enjoying pleasure and others were having orgasms so it was a full spectrum, even releasing trauma. As I said before, the cervix has had to experience a lot of stuff in the past whether it was medical procedures, birth trauma, IUD insertion. When you are healing it, there is a lot that can be released as well. So, it really became that the cervix is a very important part of our bodies that we need to start to understand because there are so many reasons. The cervix is what taught me to feel more empowered in general not only sexually but also when I go to the Doctors. I realised the extent of what my body had been in. Doctors were doing things to my cervix, the pap smears where you have to quickly undress, they make small talk and they put this thing inside of you, it’s this rushed, weird process.
ELEANOR: I feel ill just thinking about it.
OLIVIA: It’s been done to you, realising that I might be pushing through my body through painful sex, opening my body for sex because i wanted to but I wasn’t ready but feeling like I wanted to be that that available sensual woman but not really feeling that totally ready yet. Having that pressure from men to be ready faster which impacted me and how I felt inside of me because when that happens you have to tense up your body and feeling pain when you are not ready to open or you might be drier and so when i realised the impact of my cervix it made me start charge of who was going to enter my body, and when. I wanted my cervix to open up and feel pleasure. I didn’t want it to be in this perpetual state of fright and shock. I wanted my cervix to feel safe to relax and feel. I had to slow down. When I have to go to Doctors now I have to put in the speculum myself and I will tell the doctor that they can enter now with the swab. I will tell the doctor.
ELEANOR: I think that is so powerful. To really take ownership, that this is my body. I am going to choose who to let in.
OLIVIA: Yes! And it goes even deeper than the doctor asking for your permission. Even if you are thinking this is a procedure for them, when actually it is a procedure for you so you have the right to say when you are ready for someone to enter. It is the same with lovers as well. I had bad habits when i was having sex, was I really getting what I wanted? Was it really the touch that I needed, did I really know what I needed? I needed to understand these things for me to have more authority in these situations and actually be more powerful in the bedroom. If you don’t feel confident, that level of safety to say pause, go, like this, like that or any of those things, then it is very difficult to drop into flow and surrender.
ELEANOR: Yeah. Absolutely.
OLIVIA: SO those things have to be in place first. It’s easier in a relationship where you can actually create these containers and really go into that. A lot of the time in my process having sex with new partners I was so vulnerable, I knew the way I was entering the experience was different than ‘oh yeah, let’s hook up.’ - we kiss, get it on, we touch a bit . Really, I had enough bad experiences especially with casual experiences to know we actually need to create communication first. One thing I recommend to everybody is Betty Martin’s three minute game which is on YouTube. It’s a beautiful way of learning to ask what you want and learning to take what feels good for you. Back to your question - learning what is good for you and then asking someone to touch you that way. It’s a three minute game that creates this container and it’s easy and it’s not too intimidating. It’s really good to understand the person who is going to enter your body is going to be “worthy” if they can actually feel themselves, if they are going to push on through and masturbate inside of you.
ELEANOR: Oh my gosh, exactly. I think a lot of people listening have had that experience happen to them, when they feel like - you just kind of used me to jerk off.
OLIVIA: Yes!
ELEANOR: It’s awful. Are you having sex to have sex? Are you having sex with me? I want to ask, in regards to transcendental experience and anytime I teach about cervical orgasms, which is orgasms in general where they get to the cervical one and they say, it’s only one word I can use and it’s transcendental. I know for me, my experience with having cervical orgasms is like I am on another planet, it’s like I transform into this whole environment where I am smelling colours, I feel like I am in another world and it is really that mind blowing. That word - mind blowing really describes the transcendental feeling of cervical orgasm. So, how would you describe it and what does it feel like for you and what do you think other people can experience?
OLIVIA: I also want to say from what I have understood from all the testimonies: it's different for everybody. I’m not sure why, I am wondering if some people see things, some people, like you said, smell colours. It seems to be different. It’s really hard to say this is what it’s like for everyone. I’ll share my experience and others experiences, you can see there is a range but always it is like this other wordly, other dimension kind of sex so for me. I feel like I become light and I disappear into a bolt of lightning, it happens again and again and what is crazy is that my partner has exactly the same visions. When he is inside of me and we are both able to access this, he accesses it while being in contact with my cervix, which blows my mind also. He only accesses it through my body. How crazy is that?!
ELEANOR: That is incredible. I think that I have had the same experience where I am sharing my cervical orgasm with them and I feel they have a really beautiful, energetic orgasm at the same time. It’s so much energy. It sounds so strange for people who have not experienced that, I feel like I am speaking another language. You have got to trust me, it’s incredible but I know that cervical orgasms are not necessarily something that you can just try really hard to get, they are not necessarily that easy to get.
OLIVIA: I want to talk about that because it is really important. I want to add that it's crazy when he surrenders to me, which is really interesting, when I'm going into a cervical orgasm and he can literally pick it up from me and enter it, an orb of light becomes one. So beautiful. Afterwards, I remember when it first started between us, it was pretty instant actually with this guy and I was looking at him and wondering - who are you, why are we experiencing this, what are we supposed to do with this information, who are you to me, and I was just like are we aliens? It was so crazy. I also want to say that I have been on this journey of healing for 5 years. About 4.5 years into my journey. The thing started to open up, general sensitivity, my ability to relax took years. I want to say that it really depends on your body, the trauma that you carry, your circumstances, your devotion, and dedication. Some people can easily access it. I have no idea why. I do think that it could be neuro wiring. I do believe we all have nuances In our neuro wiring but I don't believe that some of us don't have the capacity, that some lucky people do and some unlucky people who don’t. I think we all do but each of us have different stories that we are embodying to unravel and discover. We have to find our way there and as I mentioned earlier, orgasms were never easy for me and I held a lot of shame, a lot of trauma in my body, it's intergenerational as well. It took me a long time to unravel, unwind it. I still feel sometimes, I don’t always have amazing sex all the time, by the way. Sometimes we don’t have great sex. We have to remember to keep it real. We have ‘human sex’, we have what we call ‘interstellar sex’, we have ‘hybrid sex’.
ELEANOR: I love that. I think that is so important. For anybody who is listening, who may be very early into their sexual awakening journey. I think that it can be very intimidating for people to be talking about these transcendental orgasms, this beautiful connection and they are not having that themselves, or not feeling they are capable of it. I think that even the people who are sex educators. It’s not like we are having 8-hr long sessions of interstellar sex every single day, we are all human. I talk a lot about in my work about gourmet sex vs snack sex. You don’t sit down and have a gourmet Michelin star meal three times a day, every single day of your life. It is beautiful to have it every now and then but snacks are also great, but you can’t live off snacks. You can’t eat chips 24/7 and expect to feel nourished.
OLIVIA: I want to remind people to avoid comparing, focus on - what is there and what is present now? Really maximise the pleasure through mindful awareness. Celebrate the tiny bits of pleasure. In time, and more and more relaxation and self acceptance and allowing when you move into a place where you slowly grow and you can feel more and more. Having a meditation practice can be beneficial because the process of learning how to feel and relax is a very meditative focus and practice. You can’t have your mind wandering all over the place you have to know what’s like deep within the body. For many of us, embodiment is really challenging, the ability to not be up in the head all the time. I am a very heady person, I am a worrier, I am pretty anxious by nature, so for me it is a long journey to be able to relax and feel into the body. It took me so long to be able to do this. I am a huge believer in plant medicines. I am quite radical and quite on the edge and I know that it might not be relatable to a lot of people. One of the things I did to heal trauma was to work with Psilocybin mushrooms as well as my own embodied de armouring - releasing the trauma intention all the way from the pelvis to the throat. I also used medicine, these plants as allies to help. Psilocybin, i don't think it is legal here in Australia but it’s having such amazing results around the world. For a huge amount of things. I found during the early years of exploring, cannabis oil was really good for helping me relax my body. I know that may not be accessible for everybody. If you are open to it, those things can help you. For me, the plant was a teacher to help me learn how to feel and then I can integrate it and bring my mind there without it. It was another tool to use.
ELEANOR: I think that there are so many different tools available and whether or not you have access to certain things. I think that point is whatever it takes for you to get out of your head and into your body. For me, it’s sensual movement, allowing myself to flow and move and put on an amazing song and candles, and get down and dirty on the ground. Then, I feel so much more juicy in my body.
OLIVIA: Oh my gosh, I have so many experiences on the dance floor, dancing to great music is an absolute winner to getting out of your head and into your body.
ELEANOR: It is. It always feels amazing.
OLIVIA: Yeah.
ELEANOR: I wanted to touch on this idea of de-armouring. I know that a lot of people hear this and you sell the wands as well that are for cervical de-armouring. Can you tell us why we need to de-armour and what are the benefits of it?
OLIVIA: There are so many reasons why orgasmic states are so inaccessible to us and we can lump orgasms in with expression and emotion because it is all movement with energy. When we have experienced any kind of trauma or any kind of shaming or conditioning around living in this world, the acceptable ways of living and being. Emotions may have been shamed in your family or your sex might have been unspoken. Over time you learn to block what comes natural to you. Orgasm is actually very natural. When we are in our most natural state, this orgasmic energy can flow. Emotions are the same, look at a baby - it is flowing through emotions. Then as a kid you might be taught - ‘no don’t cry’, go to your room, you’re behaving badly. Over time we learn that certain things we have to shut down. We have literally put a block in place. Like a lump in your throat, when you are pushing the cry down because your vagus nerve is telling you it’s not safe to cry. Suppressing your cry. That is what you could call creating an armouring. Another type of armouring could be physical trauma - if you punch your arm, you are going to start to hurt after a while. If you keep punching it’s going to give you an indication - back off, go away. I'm hurting. That’s a little bit of armouring. It’s telling me to go away. If I keep smacking my arm it’s going to numb out to protect itself so the armouring occurs in the tissue of our body as a protective mechanism and its a response to the nervous system, defense response. Physical and emotional. You might have heard our emotions storing in the body and they can get blocked within the body. So, why do you stimulate particular parts? This is why some of us may have massages, and cried or had a sexual experience and cried. It’s because whatever the practitioner or your lover is pressing into, it’s holding an emotional memory. So the process of de-armouring is allowing us to release our guards. To soften tissue where we might have created protective walls to prevent feeling pain during sex. It’s like lumpy tissue or energetic and when you touch into these places we can create a release and we can access more sensitivity and we can start to relax more because there is more safety present in the tissue. The tissue no longer feels tight, it can relax. When we go to get a massage because you have sore muscles, we get them to release the armour that we have built up. Think about the tension that you hold around your neck and shoulders. We hold protectively. My pelvic floor, my car driving in so much traffic and I feel my pelvic floor pulling up, it's on guard. So the de-armouring is releasing all the ways that we have to hold. In life, we need a certain amount of armouring. You can’t just walk around completely vulnerable. We need a little bit of armour but when it comes to being able to relax during intimacy we need to release the guard, release and let go. Open up and be available, be allowing, and not block and push away and hide so the work is about clearing and releasing. The wand in physical level is about massaging out and we also de-armour our hearts and our throats and we clear all the ways that we might have protected our hearts or stopped our expression so we become free. When we go to orgasm we are moving closer and closer towards our most natural state of being. I see this as a continual process that’s why the self cervix release journey is all about. We have to continuously work on this because life happens because we get retraumatised or triggered or get anxious and stressed and our body is holding it in. We might have had a really shitty sexual experience and now we feel terrible. We might be feeling vaginal pain, we might have to get de-armouring pain to release the pain and tension. It’s really instrumental. I think in terms of vaginally, we are very good at holding our pelvic floors high and tight. That’s part of the stress response. The pelvic floor is very dynamic. It is supposed to be able to curl up, it’s also supposed to be able to relax down completely. It’s also meant to be able to move down beyond that relaxation into a pushing out movement. We are very practiced at curling up so we are learning how to relax and ask for direction so when it comes to sex we don’thave to do anything during sex. We don’t have to squeeze your pelvic floor and tighten your pussy. You don’t have to do any of that. If you are in a completely optimum state of relaxation your vagina will do what your vagina knows what to do best at its optimum state. Which is to contract, relax and contract into orgasm.
ELEANOR: Amazing. I think that so many people have this idea that you have to be tight and I think everyone listening probably wonders if they are tightening their pelvic floor. I think the act of de-armouring is such a beautiful thing and know that I have done some work on that as well but I love that you mention that it’s not just about the physical de-armouring using a glass wand inside the vaginal walls and cervix but all de-armouring your heart and throat so that you can feel and express. I think that is a gorgeous point.
OLIVIA: Yes, I managed to make an entire program and called it self partnership because I noticed because relating and dating is so hard and can trigger all of our wounding. When I realised that you can de-armour your vagina as much as you want but if you are blocked in your heart. In relationship dynamics that are causing your stress or emotional pain or if you are dealing with a lot of emotional old wounding it doesn’t matter how much vaginal de-armouring you do, what I know about Cervical orgasm is it is a full hearted state of love. You can’t have a cervical orgasm and be pissed off with your partner.
ELEANOR: Totally and when I have experienced it, it has been with someone I have been madly in love with and feel beyond safe with them and I know that they care deeply with me and my pleasure. That is what allowed me to go there. That is really special.
OLIVIA: You’ll be surprised how many of us, myself included, spend a lot of time compromising myself in relationships. Changing myself or not speaking my need to compromising in some way to please the other. That creates so much tension in the body which is exactly the opposite of what we need. Part of the work, as I mentioned earlier, stepping into your power and having authority over your body is actually seeing yourself as a sovereign being and also taking responsibility for your heart's journey as well. Really learning to take care of yourself in the relationship. That might mean setting boundaries, speaking your needs, making requests, sharing your feelings, which so many of us are very scared of being called needing or demanding. Pushing a partner away or settling for a casual when we really want a commitment.
ELEANOR: Oh my gosh. We could do an entire episode on boundaries and all those things. I think it is widely important. There is something that I wanted to ask before I let you go - about this cervical orgasm and the fact that the cervix has these three nerves connected to it. I know some people listening and wondering - why cervical? Why don’t you do an entire episode about the clitoral orgasm and it’s because the cervical orgasm is quite unique. Can you explain to us briefly what these three nerves are and why cervical orgasms are quite different to other orgasms that we can experience?
OLIVIA: I want to say, all orgasms are going to feel different, all orgasms serve a different purpose. I like to say, I don’t like to put orgasms on a scale of hierarchy. Like medicine, they all have something different to offer.
ELEANOR: A caveat on that, that was the next question I was going to ask you - I share the same perspective that orgasms shouldn’t be placed on a hierarchy. We are not saying the cervical is the best one and clitoral sucks. I know so many sex educators out there insist that clitoral orgasms are far too easy and we should stop having them but I love that you feel the same way.
OLIVIA: Orgasms are an amazing medicine. I value every single kind of orgasm that we can have. That is really important. The three paired nerves of the cervix, which means there is one going left, one going right which is really unique. I don’t know if there is any other organ in the body that has these three paired nerves. The hypogastric nerve, the pelvic nerve and vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is what allows us to have this very tripped out experience. There is a theory that DMT is released in the brain, that is the active ingredient in plant medicine which is why I got interested in plant medicine. It is the active ingredient in Ayahuasca which is a psychedelic, psychoactive plant material or substance within the plant. We can’t prove it but definitely feel that DMT is released because of the vagus nerve connection. We have answered why it’s so unique. The interesting thing is that the main teaching in the world of sexology is that the clitoris is needed for all orgasms that the clitoris is involved. With the cervix that is completely not the case. The cervix we know for sure can orgasm without any input from the clitoris and we know that because of Science studies on women with spinal cord injuries with no connection to the clitoris could still feel the cervix and still have a cervical orgasm. It's a beautifully independent orgasmic organ. You have to think about the clitoris, the pudendal nerve is closer to the surface so that’s why you can access it from the outside even though the clitoris moves deep within the body, the nerves actually go deep within the vulva. That is why people say that it’s easier. It may be easier to access. The challenges with the cervix is that it takes a bit, not everybody is that comfortable going inside of themselves, people confront shame, people don’t like the experience of fingering themselves, they feel repulsed so there is bit of an edge that makes clitoris stimulation “easier” because perhaps you can have an orgasm when you are pissed off and stressed. That’s one of the beautiful things about it’s medicine.
ELEANOR: Absolutely. Stress release. I think you are so right, different types of medicine for different types of orgasm It’s not that that's the easiest and the worst. I think that so many sex educators out there are saying stop touching it all together. I think there are definitely benefits to giving it a break while I explore my internal vagina. Many forms of orgasms are available there, perhaps cervical. When we say altogether, stop doing that - only use crystal wands, you’re not allowed to use vibrators it creates this extra layer of sexual shame which I feel - aren’t we trying to get rid of that? Let us do what we want.
OLIVIA: Do whatever works for you. I am never going to tell you what to do with your body. I’m going to tell you what I did for my body, which is going to be a suggestion, always ask yourself if this is right for me? I also feel a resistance in the sacred sexual spaces. It's very much like no clitoral orgasm, completely taking it off the table and I can say when I was so numb I was actually pretty disciplined in my first year. I went to my clitoris but not as much and I can tell you that now it is possible to have cervical orgasms, probably not at the same time or same session - it’s a different style of sex for me. When I'm teaching in the release journey we say give it a break for a month, try this practice and when you want to have a clitoral orgasm, have a clitoral orgasm then have a break. It’s not a definite thing, the clitoral orgasm for me, that pathway was extremely dominant and I was so used to it so I really needed to learn and feel and habitual a new neuron pathway so that's what self cervix is about - training this new pathway, it doesn't mean that you have to take the other one off altogether but for me its being mindful. If you are defaulting to the clitoris all the time make sure you are spending at least most of the practice inside sensitising yourself if you need to default to the clieterol orgasm. Also, don’t forget about your internal orgasms. The thing with the clitoral orgasm can be used for self soothing. Some people can start to feel a trap with it, the dopamine reward system gets kicked in so they can get into an addictive cycle. I don't want to make anything wrong with that but the invitation is if you notice that you are using it or overusing it three times a day to calm you down it’s interesting to notice what is the emotion behind it, is there anything else that you are avoiding feeling? Sit with that, then have your clitoral orgasm. I think that the cavert around the clitoral orgasm is that it has it’s medicine, taking it back to substances like cannabis it has it’s medicine but you can also slide into dependence. It's an interesting conversation learning how to feel more and open a flow or big energy in the body. Clitoral orgasm can be a way to avoid feeling. I noticed that I would default to clitoral orgasms when I felt lonely and wanted to feel something else. It was good medicine. I never went into the addictive cycle of chasing the dopamine hit. That can be triggering for some people to hear so I share that with a lot of compassion. It's not wrong, it's just interesting to notice and see if it feels right for you - if it does, it’s fine. If it’s undermining what you really want then it’s something else to look at.
ELEANOR: Yeah, there's always this level of introspection, enquiring with yourself, being true with yourself and that’s a muscle to build in yourself. It can be really powerful to recognise what your motives are behind different types of orgasms.
Thank you so much, I’m sure that everybody listening is grateful to learn more about the cervical orgasm and all the different levels and layers that are attached to what the cervix represents, how you can feel when you tap into different things. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It has been such a pleasure having you today. I’d love to get you to share a little bit about how people can find you, how people can work with you, and learn about awakening their cervix.
OLIVIA: We actually have coming up, at the end June, we are going to have a 5-day free cervical awakening challenge. That’s really a great way to join and explore yourself where and what you can feel, what your blocks might be and it’s free. That’ll be in June, you can join our initiation journey anytime and that’s a beautiful entry into the cervix. You can find that on our Instagram bio link, you can also download a free guide on de-armouring and free meditation on clearing sexual shame. All that is free but the initiation is the current way to enter into the program and the program runs the second half of the year. That is where you can find me - instagram @selfcervix
ELEANOR: Beautiful. I will include all these links in the show notes as well for everybody to find. Thank you for being here, it has been such a pleasure talking to you all about the cervix.
OLIVIA: Thanks Eleanor.
